Walking Alone, Together
by Chibimonkeyking
Summary: Sanzo's hesitant to be in a relationship with Goku, but Goku doesn't understand the problem with it. Hakkai and Gojyo certainly don't have problems with their relationship. But, this is Sanzo - everything's complicated. Will it work out? Sanzo/Goku, occasional Hakkai/Gojyo.


Sitting on his bed and smoking a cigarette, Sanzo stared out the window across the room at the rapidly darkening sky.

The weather earlier had promised rain, but Hakkai wanted to take Gojyo and Goku grocery shopping so they could leave town the next day.

Goku, however, had been reluctant to leave Sanzo's side.

"Are ya sure you'll be okay Sanzo?" he had asked. The blonde waved him off. "I'll be fine, stupid monkey. It's just rain."

Goku's face had been troubled, but he'd left with Hakkai when he was called.

Now, it was drizzling, making a small pitter-patter sound against the window. Sanzo didn't know why Goku was so worried about a little rain.

Maybe Goku wasn't actually asleep those few times Sanzo had been woken up by nightmares. Shaking his head, he sighed.

"Idiot…" he muttered to himself, exhaling smoke. Sanzo didn't need anyone watching over him like he was a child – especially not a kid monkey.

He heard some loud thunks as the shopping party came back, though he could tell Goku was coming to their room from the area between the two rooms.

Gojyo started to complain but didn't finish, probably because of Hakkai.

"Sanzo?" Goku peered in, looking even more concerned now that he saw that the lights were off.

He knew Sanzo was awake though, because he could smell cigarette smoke and see the glowing end of the stick where Sanzo was sitting.

"Um, we're back."

Sanzo grunted. "I know, I could hear you stomping your way in."

Goku frowned.

"Sorry Sanzo. Hey, Hakkai's gonna make dinner, do you wanna join me and Gojyo for some cards before dinner?" Sanzo put his cigarette out in the ashtray next to him, picking it up.

"I'll watch." Goku nodded and the two of them went into the living room-like area of the suite.

"Goku, go ahead and take a quick shower before you play okay? I don't want you catching a cold."

"Okay. Are you and Gojyo okay?" Hakkai nodded.

"We'll just change and shower later." Goku went off to go shower.

Sighing, Sanzo took a seat on the couch.

"We got you a newspaper, Sanzo. Luckily it stayed completely dry on the way back," Hakkai commented, handing him a stack of folded papers.

"Thanks Hakkai." Taking them and setting his ashtray on the table, he leaned back against the couch cushions and started to read.

It didn't take long for Goku to come out of the shower and flop down at Sanzo's feet with playing cards.

Sanzo was only distracted by this when Goku leaned back against his legs, pressing his damp hair against his jeans. His eyebrow twitched.

"Goku."

The brunette hummed a reply, looking up at him. This only caused Sanzo's irritation to grow at the water soaking his jeans.

"Stupid monkey!"

Smack!

"Ow! What was that for?" Goku covered the top of his head, frowning.

Sanzo didn't reply, and instead went into their room to grab his towel. When he came back, Goku looked confused. Sanzo sat back down.

"Face forward."

"Why?"

Sanzo glared. "Just do it," he grumbled.

Huffing, Goku did as he was told, only to be surprised when Sanzo started roughly drying his hair.

"Hey! What're ya doin' Sanzo?" Goku questioned loudly.

"Taking a shower to avoid catching a cold is useless if you don't dry yourself off properly, stupid." With cheeks puffed up indignantly, Goku sat there as Sanzo dried his hair.

Gojyo snorted, cracking up.

"Geez Sanzo, what are you – his mom?" A moment later he had a face full of pillow.

"Shut up and play the damn game," he growled.

Grumbling under his breath, Gojyo started up another game with Goku.

Goku was a horrible player, and he was even worse now that he was being distracted.

Sanzo was watching the game, and with his concentration on Goku's cards and playing style, his hands had slowed in drying Goku's hair.

It felt nice, but the brunette was trying to play.

Fed up with how the game was going, Sanzo stopped. "Move over monkey, you're shit at this."

Goku whined but moved, switching spots with Sanzo. The blonde started a new game with Gojyo, knowing that Goku was watching.

Maybe now he would actually learn how to play the game with some semblance of strategy.

Hakkai came over a few minutes later with dinner and three beers.

Eventually, all four of them were playing. Dinner had vanished rapidly, as did the beer and multiple cigarettes.

Goku had improved a bit, and Sanzo had skipped a few games to give him tips. By the time midnight rolled around, the only ones awake were Goku, surprisingly, and Hakkai.

Gojyo had been playing until he decided to crash with his head on Hakkai's lap. Goku laughed lightly at that.

He knew about them being together, but Hakkai's slightly embarrassed expression was amusing.

Hakkai smiled and shook his head.

"Let's keep playing," he had said quietly. Nodding, Goku started a new game.

He only realized Sanzo was already asleep when he felt a slight pressure on his shoulder. Glancing over, he saw Sanzo leaning on him, only slightly, and his breathing was warm against his arm.

Slightly flustered, he turned back to Hakkai. Goku didn't want to wake Sanzo by moving too much.

"Maybe we should watch some tv instead?" Hakkai suggested, smiling in understanding.

Goku nodded, only shifting to grab the remote and turn on the tv. Passing it to Hakkai, he let the older pick the channel.

It wasn't long until Goku knocked out as well.

"Oh my… maybe I should go to bed…" Hakkai mumbled to himself. Looking down at Gojyo, he shook him gently.

"Mmn?" Gojyo stirred, blinking blearily up at him.

"We should head to bed. It seems everyone is too tired to continue."

The red-haired man sat up and snickered softly at the sight. "Should we wake them up 'Kai?"

Hakkai shook his head. "It's best for Sanzo to rest. You two did drink quite a bit. I'm going to clean up, you should go to bed."

Gojyo nodded, getting up slowly and sighed, heading groggily to their room.

The brunette youkai smiled and got up as well, picking up dishes and all the trash. Even though he was trying to make as little noise as possible, he turned when he heard shifting in the living room area.

Sanzo was staring drowsily at the teen next to him, ruffling the spiky locks.

"You should head to bed Sanzo," Hakkai said softly, trying not to surprise him.

The blonde grunted. "Right."

He sighed and stood, gently lifting the sleeping Goku up into his arms. Sanzo glanced over at Hakkai in silent thanks, though the other could tell he was troubled.

He decided to let Sanzo think about it himself – if he needed advice, Hakkai would always help.

Sanzo took Goku into their room and shut the door, sighing. "Troublesome monkey…" he mumbled.

Setting him down on his bed, Sanzo tucked Goku in. Goku mumbled, shifting to get comfortable. Sighing, Sanzo went to his own bed and laid down.

So much for not being attached. Closing his eyes, he slowly drifted off to sleep.

* * *

"Sanzo, Sanzo!"

He growned, hearing an all-too-familiar voice calling his name.

"Shut up!" Sanzo growled, sitting up. He stopped halfway, blinking.

Golden eyes were in front of him, chestnut hair tickling his forehead.

"Hakkai said you wanted an early start, so he made breakfast. Uh… you okay?"

Sanzo felt his face heating up and he looked away. "I'm fine Goku. Get off."

"Oh! Sorry Sanzo!" Goku scrambled off the bed and out of the room. Sanzo sighed deeply and fully sat up.

"Tch…"

He lit a cigarette, taking his time going into the main room.

Goku and Gojyo were already bickering over food when Sanzo sat down.

"Good morning Sanzo," Hakkai greeted, putting a plate in front of him before sitting down.

"Hn." Sanzo finished his cigarette and started eating.

A hand wandered near his plate and Sanzo smacked Goku on the head with his fan by reflex.

"Ow!"

"Don't touch," Sanzo grumbled.

Goku just nodded and sighed, returning to his own food.

"Aww, you just hurt your pet's feelings! Poor kid," Gojyo cooed.

Goku would've smacked him, but Sanzo's bullet was faster, just barely grazing the kappa's hair. "Oi, watch it! That's my beautiful locks you're shootin' at!" Gojyo shouted.

"Shut up, you're too loud."

Hakkai sighed. "Please don't fight everyone. If we want to leave on time, I don't need to be healing any injuries."

Sanzo nodded in agreement, finishing his food.

"Hakkai, you and Gojyo double-check everything, Goku can take care of our things. We leave in an hour," he stated, grabbing his half-read newspaper from the couch before going back into his room.

"Okay, you heard the boss-man. Let's get started Goku." Gojyo finished his food and got up.

"Eh? But I'm still eating!" Goku whined.

"Then hurry up and finish."

Grumbling, Goku stuffed the rest of his food in his mouth and swallowed, rushing off to his and Sanzo's room to pack and make sure they had everything.

Sanzo was smoking as he read the rest of his paper. Goku was quiet, sitting down and packing his things first.

"Hey Sanzo, do you know where my comic went?"

The teen glanced over at Sanzo, who simply flipped a page. "Under your bed."

Goku looked under the bed and grinned, grabbing it.

"Thanks Sanzo!" He didn't get a reply, so he just continued to pack. Once he was finished with packing their things, he sat next to Sanzo on the bed, crosslegged.

"You have two unopened packs of cigarettes, do you want me to ask Hakkai to buy you some more?" Sanzo glanced at him.

"Yeah, sure. Make sure the water sprite's stocked up too, I don't feel like dealing with his complaining."

Goku nodded and took the gold card from Sanzo when it was handed to him before heading back over to Hakkai.

"Hey 'Kai, can we get Sanzo some more smokes?" Hakkai looked at him from where he was doing the dishes.

"Sure, just a moment." He dried off his hands and they headed out.

"Say, Goku. There's something I want to ask you," Hakkai said.

"Hm?" Goku looked up at him.

"Did something happen with you and Sanzo this morning? You two looked a little flustered after I asked you to get him for breakfast."

Goku blushed slightly and scratched the back of his head.

"Eh, to be really honest, I have no idea. He wasn't wakin' up when I shook 'im, so I jumped on the bed. When he got up, he just turned red." He shrugged.

"It was like he was… nervous or somethin'. It was kinda weird."

Hakkai nodded.

"I understand. I'm sure he's fine, but thank you for telling me Goku." The older youkai pat him on the head and Goku smiled happily.

"Yeah, no problem. Ah, look!" He suddenly pointed.

"I thought I smelled meatbuns!" He looked up at Hakkai for permission.

Smiling, Hakkai gave him the okay and watched him run off to get some, chuckling

* * *

At the end of the hour, the group was packed up in the Jeep and on the road, heading out of town. Goku was feeling generous and offered Gojyo a meatbun.

'At least they're being quiet,' Sanzo thought, letting out a deep breath and closing his eyes. He figured that maybe he could get some meditating done in the temporary peace.

The only problem was that his thoughts kept returning to that morning, when Goku had woken him up.

Normally, the monkey wouldn't have to wake him up – Sanzo was awake before Goku more often than not. Then there was the method in which he was woken up.

Not the yelling, that wasn't all too surprising.

What startled him was Goku's close proximity to his face. Sanzo was not expecting that at all.

Those liquid gold eyes… Sanzo scowled. His thoughts were starting to get off track, and he would definitely not finish that last one. Not at all.

"Sanzo, is everything all right?" he heard Hakkai ask from beside him.

"It's nothing Hakkai, don't worry about it."

He next felt hair that was not his own brushing against his neck. "Is Sanzo making a funny face again?" Goku asked in confusion, his bubbly voice close to his ear.

Too close.

"Get back into your seat Goku." There was a moment of silence before Goku huffed, sending a puff of hot air against Sanzo's ear, and sat back in his seat.

Finishing off his meatbuns, Goku was confused about Sanzo's behavior but otherwise content. Maybe Goku could be a bit selfish for his birthday and ask him about it.

His birthday _was_ coming up after all. That reminded him of something else he wanted to do. He'd have to remember to talk to Hakkai, and maybe Gojyo, about it.

Smiling, he settled down happily in his seat, ignoring all the bumps and rocks.

"Speaking of funny faces…" Gojyo mumbled, reaching over and pinching Goku's face. "Monkey boy's getting cheeky again and it's creeping me out."

"Ow! Let go stupid kappa!"

Sanzo lashed out at both of them with his fan. "SHUT UP!" he shouted, effectively quieting them.

"Oh my… well, at least that was settled quickly…" Hakkai commented, smiling slightly.

"Hn."

The ride was quiet for a few hours until Goku's stomach started growling.

"Sanzo, can't we have lunch yet?" The teen whined.

"I kinda agree with the kid. 'Kai, we're starved back here!" Hakkai glanced at Sanzo, who was pointedly ignoring everyone.

"Alright, let's find some shade and we can stop to eat." Goku beamed.

"Yay, food here I come!"

"Tch. Stop yelling," Sanzo grunted.

"Ah, sorry Sanzo." Goku forced himself to be quiet so he wouldn't get mad. It didn't take them long to find shelter, unpacking a few things so that they could get the food cooked.

Sanzo was sitting by his lonesome under a tree while Gojyo and Goku went out to get firewood.

"Sanzo, could I speak to you for a moment?" Sanzo cracked an eye open, looking up at him.

"Did something happen with-"

"If it's about Goku, then nothing happened." Sanzo replied, closing his eye.

"Now Sanzo, I know about your… feelings, concerning him," Hakkai said, sitting next to him. Despite the blonde's glare, he continued.

"I'm fairly sure he feels the same, if not more strongly. Maybe you should speak to him."

"I am not about to start a relationship with him Hakkai. He's a childish, immature monkey." Seeing it as the end of the discussion, Hakkai sighed.

He knew Sanzo was being truthful, even if his reason was still an obvious denial of his true feelings. Maybe Goku wasn't the only one who had some growing up to do.

Getting up, he dusted himself off just as Gojyo and Goku returned.

"We found an awesome river nearby, Hakkai! It's nice and cool from all the rain last night!" Goku excitedly bounded over, holding a bunch of sticks.

"That's wonderful Goku. Maybe we should camp here today. We're still at least a day's travel from the next town and I don't know if we'll be able to find any better shelter further on."

Sanzo nodded reluctantly.

"I suppose that's true. Alright, we'll camp here for the rest of the day," Sanzo said, not moving from his position at the base of the tree.

Wordlessly, Goku put the sticks down and started going through their things for the tents. Gojyo helped do one before returning to Hakkai's side, watching him cook.

Goku stayed silent, and it irked Sanzo. Today had been one of the longest days that the monkey had ceased making noise.

Sighing, Sanzo slowly opened his eyes to gaze up at the bright blue sky through the leaves of the trees.

"Goku, why don't you go get washed up once you're done with that?" Hakkai suggested.

"Lunch will probably take a while, so you have plenty of time."

Goku nodded.

"Sure, I'll be back soon." He finished building the tent and moved his and Sanzo's things to the one by Sanzo's current position. Grabbing some clothes, Goku went to the river to go wash.

The water looked cool, and he quickly stripped, leaving all his clothes on the grass as he hopped down into the river. Sighing happily, he splashed all the way in.

Hearing the grass shuffle behind him, he turned.

"Sanzo?"

Sanzo sat down next to the clothes that had been thrown carelessly to the ground.

"Tch. What?" He lit a cigarette, sighing. Goku just smiled.

"Did Hakkai give a lecture or something?" Sanzo glared at him.

"He didn't lecture me…" he grumbled. "I need to talk to you. Away from them." Goku blinked, standing up a bit straighter.

"What's wrong Sanzo? Did you get sick or somethin'? You can sleep in the back with me if you want."

Sanzo shook his head. "No, stupid. I'm not sick." He took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled deeply. "It's about us."

Goku frowned and cocked his head to the side in confusion.

"Us?"

Sanzo nodded. "Yeah. I want to know what you see me as."

The question surprised Goku, but he answered immediately with a bright grin. "You're my sun!"

"That makes no sense, idiot." Sanzo huffed, and Goku puffed his cheeks out in protest.

"It does too! Your hair 's all gold an' shiny like the sun, and your light brought me outta that nasty dark cave." Sanzo understood that part already.

"But what does being your sun have to do with how you see me?" he asked.

Goku looked up at him like he was dumb. "Duh! I love you Sanzo!"

Sanzo snuffed out his cigarette, grunting. "Love, huh? Are you really sure about that?"

Goku nodded quickly.

"I really really-"

"Sanzo, Goku, lunch is ready!" they heard Hakkai calling from camp.

"Tch. We'll talk about this later, Goku." Sanzo got up, glancing at him once before calmly walking back to camp.

Goku sighed and got out, drying himself off and quickly changing so that he could run after Sanzo.

"Food!" Goku cheered, flopping down next to Gojyo. Hakkai chuckled as Gojyo ruffled Goku's hair, handing them both their food. Sanzo was already slowly eating his own meal, quiet.

Goku was still kind of confused about his behavior, but chatting with Gojyo made his mood improve some.

The group had to find something to do, so Hakkai told Gojyo to watch camp while he explored. Goku wanted to explore as well, so he was sent in the other direction with Sanzo in tow.

Goku happily chattered about their surroundings, to which Sanzo occasionally grunted or nodded.

"Hey Sanzo, can I ask you a question?"

"Hm?" Sanzo looked down at him.

"Do you think we'll be like Hakkai and Gojyo some day?" His sun frowned, looking both confused and perturbed.

"Why would you want to be like them?"

Goku sighed, hoping Sanzo wouldn't get upset at his explanation.

"I wanna be with ya. Like, _together_ , ya know?" The brunette fidgeted anxiously, jumping when he felt a hand rest itself on his head.

"Maybe… when you've grown up a little." Goku pouted.

"But I am! I'm turning 18, 'Kai said so! Isn't that grown up enough?" he whined upsetly.

Sanzo sighed deeply, ruffling his hair gently.

"Just because you're physically grown up, doesn't mean you're mature enough." Goku thought about that.

"I guess… okay, I can wait," he said simply, smiling up at him.

"Right." Sanzo took his hand back and Goku scampered off to go look at some flowers.

He briefly wondered what was going to happen in the future, following behind the energetic teen. Maybe Goku could prove to him that not all attachments ended in pain.


End file.
